I love my job. Is anyone really allowed to say that? There seems to be some underlying rule that states you must hate Mondays, watch hundreds of cat videos, and dislike your job. But Monday is my favorite day of the week, and I really do love my job. Here’s why: children are actually comedians, and I get to be with them ALL. DAY. LONG. I don’t believe I’ve laughed as hard as I have this last week in a while, and I’m a generally happy person, so that’s saying something.
Most of the comedy comes out in car rides, when the iPads get left home and the boys I nanny are done arguing over who gets to squeak Sophie, Killian’s teething giraffe. Somehow the topic of marriage had come up, and M (the youngest) spoke up about expectations in his future marriage. “I don’t want to get married,” he began, matter-of-factly, “But if I do,” he added quickly, after N (the oldest) declared his intentions to become both a husband and father, “then I am NOT changing any diapers. My wife had the baby, she can wipe his poopy bum!” He then continued, “I will go grocery shopping or whatever if I have to, and work, but I didn’t have that baby, so I am not getting spit on!”
Later that day, the boys were playing a truth or dare generator game on the iPad. I was playing as well, and got asked what I would do with one million dollars, if I had it. I named a couple of things, and M jumped in with, “Buy a puppy and ditch Sean!”
“Never!” I said, slightly laughing, “That would be awful! I would miss him!”
“I know, I know,” he said almost disappointedly. Then, as an afterthought, added, “Well, if I had a million dollars and I was married, I’d take the money and ditch my wife!” His poor future wife. I had this image in my head of a woman with spit up in her hair and a baby on her hip, in a house with an abundance of groceries but no husband.
The next question was directed toward M. He had to answer what one possession he would save if there ever were a fire in the house. I expected to hear the iPad, WiiU, or something similar, so when he said, “My mom!” with such enthusiasm, I thought it was pretty cute. Not that his mom is a possession, but that he would be so happy to save her from a fire that he would forego his toys to rescue her. But then he explained, “Cause then I’ll have someone to stand by, and a drink!”
Ever since I’ve had Killian, the boys have learned a bunch of new baby things, such as how to change a diaper, what foods babies can eat, and most intriguing to them, how babies get milk from their mom. Clearly M didn’t understand the concept behind nursing, because when his brother asked him to clarify where he got the drink from, he said, “Ya know? Mom can nurse me!”
N blushed and I couldn’t quit laughing. What did I tell you? Comedians.